Captain Shredder, Admiral Myotismon, Assistant Captain Hades, their Pirates, and No-Face/Neverland’s Greatest Criminal Minds
(In Neverland, which is a beautiful small island, at a beachside of a south lagoon, there rested a pirate ship. And on board, all the pirates are heard singing) Pirates: Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life A-rovin’ over the sea Give me a career As a buccaneer It’s the life of a pirate for me Oh, a life of a pirate for me (On the ship, there were various villains on board, doing their usual business such as swabbing the deck and doing busy things, and they are Captain Shredder, Admiral Myotismon, and Assistant Captain Hades’ crew. And here comes the introductions. The first pirate is a. He is Xehanort The second pirate is a 50 year old human man with dark tan skin, long silver shoulder-length hair, amber eyes, and wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried two glowing red swords as his weapons. He is Xemnas. The third pirate is a 36 year old human man with green eyes and dirty blonde hair with an odd mullet-like style, and several individual bangs that fall over his face, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried a guitar-like weapon called an Arpeggio as his weapon. He is Demyx. The fourth pirate is a 29 year old woman with long blonde hair with two long thin arched antenna-like strands, blue eyes, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried a Foudre as her weapon. She is Larxene. The fifth pirate is a 37 year old man with blue eyes and small eyebrows, auburn hair that is slicked back into a rather odd messy spikes, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots with black gloves, and sometimes carried a Skysplitter as his weapon. He is Lexeaus. The sixth pirate is a 45 year old man with very short platinum blond hair that is worn in a Caesar cut, blue eyes, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried Fair Game as his weapon. He is Luxord. The seventh pirate is a 33 year old man with long rose pink shoulder-length wavy hair, blue eyes, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried a scythe-like weapon called the Graceful Dahlia as his weapon. He is Marluxia. The eighth pirate is a 46 year old man with very long dark blue shoulder-length hair, pointed ears, amber eyes, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried a Claymore as his weapon. He is Saix. The ninth pirate is a 40 year old man with long platinum blond hair, green eyes, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried a shield-like weapon called the Frozen Pride as his weapon. He is Vexen. The tenth pirate is a 43 year old man with long black hair is styled into distinctive dreadlocks that flair dramatically when he manipulates the wind, one of these dreads is used to tie most of the others into a sort of ponytail, while four thinner dreads dangle in front of his face, two on each side, bushy eyebrows and very thick sideburns, the latter of which hook around his cheeks, parallel to his violet eyes, has flesh tunnels with an earring through the hole, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried Lindworm as his weapon. He is Xaldin. The eleventh pirate is a 41 year old man with a gold left eye, pointed ears, upturned eyebrows, and dark hair with several grey streaks that is tied into a long ponytail, and wearing a black eyepatch over his scarred right eye, an old scar on the lower part of his left cheek, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried a Sharpshooter as his weapon. He is Xigbar. The twelfth pirate is a 36 year old man with short steel-blue hair with side-swept emo-like bangs, bright aqua blue eyes, and also wearing a black long-sleeved dress coat over a black tanktop, black jeans, and black boots, black gloves, and sometimes carried a Lexicon as his weapon. He is Zexion. The thirteenth pirate is a. Dr. Neo Cortex. The fourteenth pirate is a. He is Dr. Nitros Brio. The fifteenth pirate is a. He is Dr. Nitros Gin. The sixteenth pirate is a. He is Dr. Nefarious Tropy. The seventeenth pirate is a. He is Nitros Oxide. The eighteenth pirate is a. He is Ripper Roo. The nineteenth pirate is a. He is Koala Kong. The twentieth pirate is a. He is Pinstripe Potoroo. The twenty-first and twenty-second pirates are. They are Komodo Joe and Moe AKA the Komodo Brothers. The twenty-third pirate is a. He is Tiny Tiger. The twenty-fourth pirate is a. He is Dingodile. The twenty-third pirate is a. He is Rilla Roo. The twenty-fourth pirate is a. He is Lord Zedd. The twenty-fifth pirate is a. He is General Grievous. The twenty-sixth pirate is a. She is Jessie. The twenty-seventh pirate is a. He is James. The twenty-eighth pirate is a. He is Meowth. The twenty-ninth pirate is a. He is Prince John. The thirtieth pirate is a. He is Sir Hiss. The thirty-first pirate is a. He is the Sheriff of Nottingham. The thirty-second pirate is a. He is Red the Cat Demon. The thirty-third pirate is a. He is Bud. The thirty-fourth pirate is a. He is Lou. The thirty-fifth pirate is a. He is Prince Froglip. The thirty-sixth pirate is a. He is Drake. And the last pirate is a. He is Preed. Anyway, once the crew was done doing their works, they, except Prince John, Hiss, and the Sheriff, went up to a Captain’s headquarter door with a crude drawing of their captain on it in an angry mood. The reason why they are angry; They want to leave Neverland and forget about killing Riku Pan, Sora, Roxas, Ventus, and Terra and they are sick of being stuck on the island. As they sang, they began to angrily throw knives at the drawing on the door) Pirates: Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life They never bury your bones For when it’s all over A jolly sea roger Drops in on his friend Davy Jones Oh.... (Then, the door opens to a bat-type Digimon, two male demon imps, and two male mutants. The bat-type Digimon has. He is Demidevimon. The first demon imp is. He is Pain. The last demon imp is. He is Panic. The first mutant is a. He is Bebop. And the last mutant is a. He is Rocksteady. As they exited the captain, admiral, and assistant captain’s headquarters, with Demidevimon carrying a tray with a shaving kit, they finished singing the song with the pirates too) Mates and pirates: Oh, my good friend Davy Jones (Unaware of how angry the crew is, the mates greeted them happily) Dingodile: Good morning, shipmates! Ripper: It’s a beautiful morning! Komodo Brothers: Yeah! (Suddenly, Bebop and Rocksteady roughly yanked Ripper up to them and Shredder and Krang) Shredder: And what’s good about it, Escargoon, Dingodile Tiny, Ripper, Rilla, and Komodo Moe and Joe?! Bebop: (Snorts) Especially when we’re on this island? Rocksteady: Yeah, there’s nothing good about it! Krang: But thanks for asking us! (The four tossed Ripper aside, bumping him into Escargoon. Mad Dog, Dumptruck, and Gibber then grabbed Escargoon and Don Karnage pointed his claw at Escargoon’s belly) Don Karnage: Here we are, collecting barnacles on this miserable excuse of an island! Mad Dog: Not to mention no treasure to steal lately whatsoever! Dumptruck: Yeah! (Even Gibber nods in agreement. They then released Escargoon, bumping him into Dingodile. As Dingodile was about to recover, his nose got caught in Xigbar's crossbow cannon nose) Xigbat: While his captainship, admiralship, and the loser assistant captain plays ring around the rosy with Ness Pan! Shenzi: And his friend, Link's little sister is more annoying than a talking macaw. Banzai: Heck, one time they beat us, that girl wouldn’t shut up on her gloating on us! Scar: Especially with that pink guy that says "Poyo" all the time! Xemnas: That's all he ever says! Organization XIII: That's right! (Ed giggled a little in agreement) Banzai: It’s not funny, Ed, but I agree with you. Dingodile: Look out there, it might go off! (Dingodile freed his nose from Xigbar’s crossbow with Tiny's help and they stumbled back) Rilla: Well, excuse us for…! (Suddenly, Gargamel lassoed Escargoon and the Komodo Brothers’ necks up with a rope lasso and barely hung them) Gargamel: We want to get back to the business of looting ships! (After Azrael meowed in agreement, Ruber, Dick, and Muttley then came up to them with their machetes) Dick: Why, I even almost forgot to slit a throat! Ruber: Especially when it comes to making our enemies dismembered! (They sliced their machetes on the ropes on Escargoon and the Komodo Brothers' necks, freeing them. After recovering, the mates glared at them) Escargoon: Why not lash out at the captain, admiral, and assistant captain instead about your problems?! Tiny: That way…. Scroop: Because they will punish us with death! Ratigan: Especially with the captain's pet Mole Troll, Grit! Drake: I don’t like to be beast bait at all! Demyx: Me neither. (Organization XIII agreed) Waternoose: It wouldn’t be pleasant to be eaten! Komodo Joe: So what?! Moe: Go talk to them! Jenner: (Throwing his knife at them) Then why don't you better drop it to them?! (The mates dodged the knife. Then the crew began throwing their knives at them, making them dodge them too as they hurried up the stairs) Hare: Tell him we want to go back to sea, see?! (On “see,” he throws his dagger at Pain and Panic, but the two imps dodged, but after the last knife hit the side of a barrel, the lid of the barrel flipped off, landed on Panic, sending him flying into Pain’s rear end with ear-like horns poking him there. Pain screeched in pain) Jack: (Sarcastically) Oops! Sorry if we poked your booty, and I don’t mean treasure for once! (He and the pirates laugh sneeringly at the joke. After painfully pulling Panic off his rear, Pain, Warp, the Amoeba Boys, and even Panic, glared at the pirates. They then secretly stuck their tongues out at them and walked away with Pain still carrying the shaving kit tray. Once on the way to their captain and admiral, they began talking) Dingodile: The crew is so immature! Tiny: Tiny agree! Moe: (Mockingly) “Why don't you better drop it to them?” (In his real angry voice) Who does he and the crew think they are? Dark boy voice: Let me guess. They picked on you again? (They stopped and noticed a dark boy, a woman, a teenage boy, a brain-like creature in a human-like robot body, a chubby male alien, and five muscular male aliens. The dark boy is a. He is Vanitas, Myotismon's son and the one who just spoke. The woman is a. She is Hunter J, Myotismon's wife and Vanitas' mother. The teenage boy is a. He is Axel. The brain-like creature and his robot body are. He is Krang. The chubby alien is a. He is Mr. Swackhammer. And the five aliens are. They are the Monstars, Pound, Nawt, Blanko, Bang, and Bupkus respectively. Anyway, the other mates recognized them casually) Komodo Brothers: Hey, Pinstripe, Axel, Oxide, Koala, Doctors N. Brio, N. Gin, and Tropy, Gygas, and Snuff. Escargoon: And yeah, they did. Rilla: Treated like garbage again. Ripper: As usual. Pinstripe: You really think they'll leave us alone about it until we do? Forget about it! They're pirates, baby. Always the tough guys. Gygas: Especially always the cold-hearted pirates who treat ya like garbage. Axel: Especially me. Heck, one time, they dumped a bucket full on chum on me just because I chickened out on talking to the captain, admiral, and assistant captain of leaving this place. Got it memorized? Snuff: How can we not? Koala: You even reeked of chum for a week after washing it off. Oxide: Anyway, let’s just go talk to the captain, admiral, and assistant captain about this and they’ll stop! Tropy: Indeed. N. Brio: Come on. N. Gin: Let's do this. (Then they, along with Axel, Hunter J, Vanitas, Krang, Swackhammer, and the Monstars, continued to their captain, admiral, and assistant captain. On the top deck of the ship, the captain himself is reading a map of Neverland on his desk with a vampire-type Digimon and Greek god looking with him. The captain is a. He is Shredder, whose real name is Oroku Saki. The vampire-type Digimon with him is. He is Myotismon, admiral of the pirate crew. And the Greek god is a. He is Hades, the assistant captain of the crew, who sometimes has a bad temper, sometimes talks in sarcasm, and likes to negotiate deals like some smooth-talking car dealer. Anyway, Shredder, Myotismon, and Hades got annoyed and angry while they read the Neverland map on the desk) Shredder: Blast that Ventus Pan, and his friends, Sora, Riku, Roxas, and Terra, too! Myotismon: I completely agree, Shredder. If only we could find their hideout, we’d trap them in there! Hades: I know, Myotismon and Cap, but where is it? Myotismon: Good question, Hades. Shredder: Hmm, Mermaid Lagoon? No, we searched there already. And we combed Cannibal Cove. (Hades suddenly noticed a spot on the map’s western part of the island) Hades: (Pointing at it) How about here? Bob: No, no! That’s Smurf ter...! (Cortex suddenly stopped him and began to change his mind) Cortex: But what if we…? (He whispers in Bob’s ear, and Bob smiled evilly on this while Dedede got confused) Bob: Wait a minute. That’s it. Good idea, Cortex. Dedede: What's the plan this time? Bob: Those blue-skinned know-it-alls know this island than we do on our own ship. (He and Cortex began to ponder) Bob: I wonder.... Cortex: Yeah…. Dedede: What's those half-pint Smurfs have to do with a new plan? (Then, the mates arrived as Rilla placed the shaving kit tray on a nearby barrel. Bob and Cortex, while still thinking of an idea, noticed them along with Dedede briefly) Dingodile: Good morning, Captain, Admiral, and Assistant Captain! Ripper: It’s a beautiful morning! Komodo Brothers: Yeah Gygas: Talk about a chain reaction. Pinstripe: That's the same thing you said before to the crew. Axel: As we memorized. (Suddenly, Bob and Cortex got an idea that they shouted out, startling the mates and Dedede) Bob: I got it! Cortex: Yes! Perfect! What is it? (The captain and admiral turned to Dedede and the mates) Bob: We’ll ask Smurfette! (The mates gave confused looks) Mates: Smurfette? Cortex: You know, the Smurf Princess. Dedede: If you recall correctly. (Realizing, the mates understood) Axel: Now I remember. Cortex: They’ll know where Ness, Link, Aryll, and Kirby are hiding. (The bumbling mates and Axel, however, were unsure of this) Dedede: Cool idea! Escargoon: But what makes you think she’ll talk? Axel: If I recall correctly, she's Ness, Link, Aryll, and Kirby's friend. Dedede: (Bonking his fist on Escargoon's head) Quiet, you wimp! (Axel was about to speak) Dedede: And you too, fire boy! Cortex: (Shrugging them off) Meh, a little persuasion can help. Bob: Now, what torture shall we think of? Koala: Boiling in oil? Bob: Nah, too hot. Ripper: How about keelhauling? Bob: No! We’re not injuring her! Tropy: I know of a perfect torture! Bob: (Sarcastically) Why am I not surprised? Tropy: How about marooning? N. Gin: It's 100% perfect. Oxide: And the other percent chance of victory. Bob: No! Cortex: That’s stupid. N. Brio: But...! (They suddenly got an idea) Bob: I know! We’ll try marooning them! Cortex: My sentiments, exactly! (Tropy groans while slapping his hand on his forehead in annoyance, for it was his idea. Suddenly, they heard a Southern accented voice singing badly. They looked up and saw near the crow’s nest Brer Bear singing badly while playing on his accordion. Next to him, Brer Fox is covering his ears with his hat to block out the horrible singing) Brer Bear: Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life You’ll find adventure and sport But late every minute For all that is in it (Even Bob and Cortex are annoyed by the bad singing. Dedede and the mates, on the other hand, just ignored his bad singing. Brer Fox gestured Bob and Cortex to make Brer Bear stop) Brer Bear: The life of a pirate Is shoooooooort Oh, the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... (Getting Brer Fox’s gestures, Bob and Cortex pulled their gun and blaster out and they both shot the accordion out of Brer Bear’s hands, making it fall into the water, splashing Pinstripe in the process) Pinstripe: (Through gritted teeth) I hate getting wet! (The Komodo Brothers laughed at him at first until Pinstripe gave them the death glare, making them stop) Pinstripe: What're ya laughing at? (Brer Bear shouted down to Bob and Cortex in anger) Brer Bear: Hey! What’s the big idea?! I was just singing a song here! I was just almost done when you shot at me! Bob: Well, next time, sing better like Ernesto de la Cruz! Cortex: And deal with it! (Angrily, Brer Bear, while climbing down with Brer Fox, climbed down to the other side of the ship as well while they talked) Brer Bear: I don’t understand why they didn’t just shout at me not to annoy them instead of shooting my accordion. I rather go and knock someone’s head clean off! Brer Fox: Like who? Someone in our crew? Last time you did that to Koala, he gave you a good uppercut and we had to break up the fight between you two knuckleheads! Brer Bear: I did not like it when Koala uppercutted me. Brer Fox: “Uppercutted” is not the right word! Brer Bear: Then let me rephrase it. I did not like it when Koala punched me. Brer Fox: Now what you just rephrased is much better. Brer Bear: Thank you, Brer Fox. (During their conversation, Axel rolled his eyes in annoyance secretly while stifling a laugh, for he knew their physical and verbal arguments and conversations can be confusing and annoying. After they were gone, Bob and Cortex puts the gun and blaster away and changed the subject) Bob: Now, where were we? Cortex: Before we were interrupted…. Snuff: Wow, Captain Sideshow Bob and Admiral Cortex. Rilla: Shooting the accordion out of Brer Bear’s hands in the middle of his cadenza? Komodo Brothers: (Laughs a bit) That ain’t good form, you know. Escargoon: Especially that one time when Dedede almost got eaten. (Pinstripe got shocked on what Escargoon and the Komodo Brothers said and angrily tried to shush them, but it was too late. Bob, Cortex, and Dedede heard him and turned to them calmly at first) Cortex: Good form, Komodo Brothers? Bob: You don’t say? Dedede: Yeah. (They got angry and Bob knocked the desk over) Bob and Cortex: Blast good form! (Bob waves his hook in front of the mates angrily while Cortex went up to them showing four old teeth mark scratches on his left arm) Bob: Did Ness Pan and Link show good form when they did this to us?! Cortex: AND IT HURT, TOO!! Dedede: Next time y'all want to say "Good form," say it at the right time next time! (He bonks Escargoon in the head with his hammer. Axel tried to calm them down in an apologetic way) Axel: Understood and got it memorized. N. Gin: Aw, Captain, Admiral. (He chuckles nervously a bit) Snuff: Ness and Link cutting the captain’s hand off, getting the admiral’s arm injured, and the assistant captain almost eaten were only a couple of childish pranks. Escargoon: In fact, he and Link did it to save his friends from you. Dedede: (Punching Escargoon) Don’t make it worse! Bob: Yeah, well, those brats then threw my hand to that Gyarados! Cortex: And after he ate it, one chomp from his chewing scarred my arm, due to those brats kicking me down to him, and bit Bob's pet, Grit! Dedede: Along with nearly being swallowed alive when I slipped and fell because of Cortex! Bob: And ever since then, that accursed beast, not to be confused with Grit, liked the taste of me, Cortex, and my pet so well, he’s been following us, licking his chops for the rest of me mostly. (As he and Cortex ranted about this, Bob took off his coat and walked around. Rilla tried to seat him in a chair and cover him with a blanket, but he kept missing. Finally, when Bob and Cortex finished, Rilla seated Bob in the chair and covered him in the blanket) Rilla: And he would’ve had you, the admiral, assistant captain, and Grit by now, Captain. Ripper: (Giggles crazily a bit) If he hadn’t swallowed the alarm clock. Rilla: But when he is now near, he’ll warn you immediately with his tick-tock, tick-tocking. (As he said “Tick-tock, tick-tocking” while Demidevimon starting to prepare the shaving kit, the sound of ticking is heard nearby. Myotismon, Hades, and the mates got surprised that he is coming now on cue, while Shredder got a fearful look on his mask-covered face. Then, from beneath the water, near the ship, a spirit emerged, looking up at Shredder, Myotismon, and Hades. The spirit is a. That is No-Face, the said spirit that is after Shredder, Myotismon, Hades, and Cerberus because of their delicious tastes, but mostly for Shredder, Myotismon, and Hades. As the captain shook in fear, No-Face licked his lips hungrily while drooling) Shredder: Guys.... GUYS!!!! (Shredder jumped off the chair and cowered behind Myotismon, Hades, and the mates) Myotismon and Hades: Hey! Shredder: Save me! Don’t let him get me and my partners! Go! Do something, now! I beg of you! (Myotismon and Hades, while rolling their eyes, and the mates went up the railing) Hades: Now listen up, you! Myotismon: You should be ashamed of yourself! Swackhammer: Yeah! Vanitas: Who do you think you are scaring our captain? Axel: There’ll be no handouts today! Hunter J: Yeah, beat it! Pain and Panic: Please? (The No-Face then begged like a dog. Myotismon, Hades, and the mates then shouted things like “Shoo now!” or “Go away!” and finally “Get out of here!” and No-Face glared at them and swam away. Cowering behind a chair, Shredder took a peek) Bob, Cortex, and Dedede: Is he gone? Axel: Yeah, you three. Rilla: All clear. N. Brio: Nothing to worry about. (Bob comes out of hiding along with Cortex and Dedede, but Bob is still shaking in fear) Bob: But guys, me, Cortex, and Dedede can’t stand it anymore! We can’t! (The Komodo Brothers calm him down as they seated him in the chair again and covered him in the blanket again) Komodo Joe: Now, relax, Captain. What you need is a shave. (Moe then wrapped a towel around Bob’s head) Moe: A nice clean shave. (As Bob calmed down underneath the towel, he fell asleep) Cortex: You two are seriously gonna shave him? (Instead of answering, the Komodo Brothers then started singing while Cortex and Dedede walked away) Dedede: I’m going to get a drink. Cortex: Right behind you. Komodo Brothers: Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life A-sailin’ over the sea Give me a career As a.... (At the same time the Komodo Brothers are singing, a seagull was flying by, when it noticed Bob’s towel-wrapped head, and thinking it’s a nest, it laid on it. After it landed on the towel, the Komodo Brothers stopped singing when Komodo Joe spoke up upon noticing the seagull along with the other mates) Pinstripe: Uh, Komodo Brothers? Komodo Joe: (To Pinstripe) Not now. (To Bob) Captain, we just can’t help but notice, you’re not your usual jolly self lately. (He then covered the seagull’s butt and tail with shaving cream, thinking it’s Bob’s shadowed face. Escargoon tried to explain what’s going on) Escargoon: Komodo Joe, you’re actually…. Komodo Joe: Not now. (Komodo Joe then took a shaver and started singing) Komodo Joe: Give me a career As a buccaneer.... (As he prepared the shaver, Komodo Joe suddenly remembered what the crew forcefully asked him and the mates to do about leaving Neverland, stopped singing and spoke up) Komodo Joe: And the crew’s getting really impatient, Captain. Moe: That is, what’s left of them. (Komodo Joe then shaved the seagull’s butt and tail clean of it’s feathers with Moe's help. Annoyed by the Komodo Brothers’ idiotic method of shaving the seagull instead of Bob’s shadowed face, the mates tried to speak up again) Mates except Komodo Brothers: Komodo Brothers, you’re shaving the…! Moe: (Getting angry and annoyed) Not now! (He calmed down and spoke to Bob again) Moe: So why don’t we just sail away? Komodo Joe: Leave Neverland and forget Ness Pan, Link, Aryll, and Kirby? (Moe then rubbed aftershave on his hands and patted the seagull’s butt with it. After he was done, the seagull bolted awake and after seeing it’s naked butt and tail, flew away, squawking in embarrassment) Moe: Oh, come on, Captain. Don’t cry. We’ll be more happier after that. Komodo Joe: Not to mention a whole lot healthier. Moe: (To Komodo Joe) I'm not that fat. (Komodo Joe then puts some shaving powder on his hands and begins to pat his hands in the air while he is about to sing) Mates except Komodo Brothers: KOMODO BROTHERS!!!! Komodo Brothers: WHAT?! (The Komodo Brothers noticed the seagull’s gone) Komodo Brothers: Captain?! Moe: Oh my gosh!! Komodo Joe: We never shaved him this close before! Moe: (Points at Komodo Joe) You did most of the shaving! Axel: Well, if you had payed attention.... Komodo Joe: Shut up and look around for his head! (As Moe crawled on the floor, searching for the head, his back picked up the chair and the rocking made the towel fall off of Bob’s head. He woke up suddenly and after looking around in confusion, he noticed Moe, searching around like an idiot, and got annoyed and angry) Bob: Get up, you idiot! (Moe bolted to his feet, knocking Bob and the chair aside. The mates noticed and they, except Moe, got shocked) Moe: (Saluting) Aye-aye, sir! (He heard the chair crash down on the deck and noticed Bob and the chair landed on the other side where Cortex, Dedede, and the other crew members are. They got confused at first, but they became curious on what happened when the mates arrived down there, shouting in concern for their captain. Cortex and Dedede, however, had a feeling something happened) Vexen: What’s going on? Brer Bear: And why did the captain fall down and go boom? Ruber: We told you to tell him about us leaving now! Cortex: (Confused) Tell us what? Axel: Well, it’s hard to explain.... (The Komodo Brothers went up to a dizzy Bob, thinking he found his head) Komodo Joe: He’s fine! Moe: Good as new! (The Komodo Brothers grabbed Bob’s face when the captain snapped out of his dizzyness, got up, took the blanket off and grabbed the Komodo Brothers, making the crew shocked) Bob: (To Komodo Brothers) You brainless idiots! (Bob was about to punch them when the crew screamed out at him to stop while Dedede was surprised) Pinstripe: Chill, Captain! (Bob stopped and got confused) Bob: What? (He drops the Komodo Brothers) Cortex: Just what’s going on here? Dedede: What do y'all mean “Tell us?” Jenner: Let’s just say we want to leave Neverland! (Bob, Cortex, and Dedede got confused) Bob, Cortex, and Dedede: What? Meowth: You heard him! Gygas: The crew is edgy because we want to leave and go back to being pirates. Xigbar: They have a point. (Among the crew, a male mouse with light brown fur, a red nose, wrinkled black whiskers, bloodshot eyes, and wearing an old dark brown top hat with a black ribbon, a burgundy long-sleeved sweater with the sleeves draping over his hands, black pants, and brown shoes, is drinking a lot of alcoholic beer in his mug. He is Bartholomew, the alcoholic drunk member of the crew. As this happened, the crew shouted their agreement with Xigbar. Bob and Cortex then got sarcastic) Bob: (Sarcastically) Very well. If that’s your decision. Cortex: (Sarcastically) If that’s what you want. (Pinstripe hands Bob his coat and Bob accepted it and puts it on) Bob, Cortex, and Dedede: Not happening yet! (The crew groaned in anger) Dedede: What’s wrong with you?! (The crew quieted down. Dedede then calmed down and Bob and Cortex spoke up in a positive way) Cortex: If you help us kill Ness Pan, Link, Aryll, and Kirby, we shall reward you with treasure. Bob: But all you have to do is do what we say. Jessie: (Skeptically) Really? Bob, Cortex, and Dedede: Really. James: Let’s just sail away for all I care. Meowth: Exactly. Bob: Really? Cortex: Let’s just say we have a plan. Crew except Bartholomew: (Confused) A plan? Axel: Me and the other mates were told of this plan. Mates except Axel: (Agreeing) Yeah. N. Gin: Tell them. Bob: Cortex and I plan to kidnap Smurfette of the Smurfs and persuade her into telling us where Ness Pan, Link, Aryll, and Kirby’s hideout is. (The crew is now starting to become convinced by the plan) Cortex: And when we find out, we’ll maroon her, find those brats, and kill them and their friends. Bob and Cortex: And as we promise, we’ll leave Neverland for good! (The crew cheered. After taking a Napoleon Bonaparte-like hat from Pinstripe and putting it on, Bob and Cortex then started singing) Bob: From the brains That brought you The Cannibal Cove Caper Cortex: The heads that made headlines Throughout all of Neverland newspapers Bob: And wondrous things like The Mermaid Lagoon job That cunning display That made Neverlanders sob Cortex: Now comes the real tour de force Bob: Tricky and wicked of course (Bartholomew took another beer bottle and while refilling repeatedly, drank it all up from his mug) Bob and Cortex: Our earlier crimes Were fine for our times But now we’re at it again An even grimmer plot Has been simmering In our great criminal brains Crew: Even meaner You mean it Worse than the widows and orphans You drowned You’re the best of the worst around Oh Bob Oh Cortex The rest fall behind To Bob To Cortex Neverland’s greatest criminal minds (Then Bob played on a harp with Cortex standing next to him) Bob: Thank you, thank you. But it hasn’t all been champagne and caviar. Cortex: Yes. We’ve had our share of adversity. Bob: Thanks to those miserable second-rate brats, Ness Pan, Link, Aryll, and Kirby! (They leered at the pictures of Ness, Link, Aryll, and Kirby on the wall, covered with darts) Crew: Boo! Bob: (Fake sobbing) For years, those insufferable brats has interfered with our plans. And we haven’t had a moment’s piece of mind. Crew: Aw…. (Bartholomew then briefly sobbed uncontrollably a little) Cortex: But all of that’s in the past! Bob: This time, nothing, not even Ness Pan, Link, Aryll, and Kirby, can stop us! Bob and Cortex: All will bow down before us! Crew: Oh Bob Oh Cortex You’re tops and that’s that To Bob To Cortex (Then all of a sudden, Bartholomew finally sang out loud drunkenly) Bartholomew: (Drunkenly) To the greatest Palmtreefish, Crazyfish, and Fathead (He hiccups. Suddenly, Bob, Cortex, and Dedede spits their wine they were drinking in horror on what Bartholomew said. Even the crew was shocked) Banzai: Uh-oh. His loss. (Bob and Cortex then turned to Bartholomew in anger and got up to him) Cortex: What was that you said?! (Bartholomew hiccups again) Bob: What did you call us?! (Dedede and the pirates tried to stand up for Bartholomew) Brer Fox: He didn’t mean it, Captain Sideshow Bob and Admiral Cortex! Dedede: It was just the slip of his tongue, even though I don't like the ins.... (Ignoring them, Bob savagely grabs Bartholomew by the neck rim of his shirt while he and Cortex yelled at him) Shredder: I AM NOT ''A METALFISH!! Myotismon: AND I AM ''NOT A BATFISH!! Hades: AND I’M ESPECIALLY NOT A HOTHEAD!! Randall: (To Bob and Cortex) Course you’re not! (To the pirates) Right? (The crew agreed) Fungus: You’re great pirates. Demyx: Yeah. Great pirates! Dedede: Even though I'm also a great king, I think you should spare Bartholomew. Bob and Cortex: Silence! (Cortex sets up the plank and Bob hangs Bartholomew on the edge by his back neck rim as the crew watched) Cortex: Oh, my dear Bartholomew. I’m afraid you have gone and upset us. (Bob pulls a bell out with an evil smirk) Bob: You know what happens when someone upsets me, Dedede, or Cortex, right? (The crew got shocked on this, for they knew what would happen to unfortunate crew members like Bartholomew. Hades rang the bell and a giant creature slowly emerged from the water, ready to grab Bartholomew and eat him. The creature is a. He is Cerberus, Shredder, Myotismon, and Hades' pet) Bartholomew: (Drunkenly) Oh Shredder Myotismon and Hades You’re tops and that’s that (He hiccups) Bartholomew: (Drunkenly) Oops! Oh, dear. (He resumed singing as Grit picked him up over his mouth as the crew looked on in horror with the bumbling members covering their eyes and Cortex whistled calmly and Bob puffing his cigar) Bartholomew: (Drunkenly) To Bob To Cortex To Bob To Cortex Neverland’s greateeeeeest…. (Then with a gulp off-screen, Grit ate Bartholomew and licked his lips. The crew calmed down and looked shocked still as Bob and Cortex petted Bob’s pet) (Imagine the bumbling crew members giving the shocked expression Spongebob and Patrick made after their Krabby Patty Car got eaten by the frogfish and then the frogfish getting eaten by the giant eel from “The Spongebob Squarepants Movie”)) Bob: (Baby talk) Oh, Gritty Grit, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy’s sweet beast enjoy his tasty treat? (Grit replied with a burp and left. Bob and Cortex then puts the plank away and went over to the front of the mast again and spoke to their crew) Bob: We expect there will be no interruptions. Cortex: Now, as we were singing.... (Bob motioned the bell briefly and the crew snapped out of their shocked looks and resumed their song with their captain and admiral) Crew: Even louder We’ll shout it No one can doubt What we know you can do You’re more evil than even you (Brer Fox suddenly stopped singing and dancing upon noticing something in the sky and went up to the crow’s nest) Crew: Oh Bob Oh Cortex You’re one of a kind To Bob To Cortex Neverland’s greatest criminal miiiiiiinds (As the song concludes, Brer Fox suddenly shouted and got Bob, Cortex, Dedede, and the crew’s attention) Brer Fox: Ness Pan, Link, Aryll, and Kirby, ahoy! (Hearing him, Bob, Cortex, Dedede, and the crew got surprised) Bob: What?! Dedede: Fire away! Brer Fox: Three points off the starboard bow! (Bob pulls his telescope out and looked to see Ness, Link, Aryll, Kirby, and the Digidestined Fairies flying towards Neverland from afar, and they have Amy, Paula, Zelda, Jeff, Picky, Porky, Ventus, Olette, Hayner, Pence, Chirithy, and the Winx Club flying next to them) Bob: My gosh, it is Ness Pan, Link, Aryll, and Kirby! (He hands Cortex the telescope and Cortex saw them too) Cortex: Heading this way with some more bratty kids and a little creature. (He and Bob turned to their crew) Bob and Cortex: Alright, my hearty crew! Look alive! Dedede: Y'all heard them! (The crew scattered into their battle positions, with Ratigan using his mechanical wrist device to instantly change into a new attire. His new attire is a jet black helmet-like mask with a deep yellow zigzagged stripe on the forehead, three bones, one tied to the forehead and two dangling from a rope on either side of the mask, glowing gold yellow eyes, complete with green bags underneath, a small, tan, rectangular nose, thick red eyebrows that appear dark, red lips, and sharp fangs, a jet black jumpsuit with fiery red lines on the sides, a red cape, jet black gloves with sharp claws, and jet black boots with sharp claws, and a black armored rat tail sticking out of his rear. This is his alter ego, the Phantom Mouse. Bob, Cortex, and Dedede turned to the mates in excitement) Bob: We got them this time, guys! Tropy: Indeed! (Bob, Cortex, and Dedede turned to Drake and the Phantom Mouse as they prepared a huge cannon) Bob, Cortex, and Dedede: Man the Long Tom! (They turned to the mates again) Bob: We’ve waited years for this! Axel: That’s not counting the holidays, either. Escargoon: Such as Christmas? (Bob, Cortex, and Dedede turned to Drake and the Phantom Mouse again) Bob, Cortex, and Dedede: Double the powder and shorten the fuse! Mates: Double the powder and shorten the fuse! (Bob looked through his telescope again to see Ness, Link, Aryll, Kirby, and the Digidestined Fairies up on a faraway cloud with their new friends, showing them Neverland) Bob: What a sight! We’ll pot them like sitting ducks! Cortex: Indeed. (They call out to the crew) Bob: Alright! Range 42! Komodo Brothers: Range 42! Cortex: Elevation 65! Komodo Brothers: Elevation 65! Dedede: (To Komodo Brothers) Stop repeating them. (He resumed his commands with Bob and Cortex) Bob, Cortex, and Dedede: Three degrees west! Komodo Brothers: Three degrees west! Pinstripe: (Through gritted teeth) They said stop repeating them! Bob, Cortex, and Dedede: (Ignoring them) Steady now! Steeeeaaadddyyyyyy!! (Noticing that they are now ready to fire the cannon, the mates covered their ears, knowing how loud the cannon is) Coming up: Riku's group and their friends meet the Lost Dragons and after Roxy tried to kill Satsuki and Xion's group, she’ll face the consequences. Then afterwards, Riku and his friends, including their London friends, surprise Satsuki and Xion's group with a welcome gift in the form of a cottage for them to sleep in next door to their hideout. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Peter Pan Fanmakes Category:Peter Pan Parodies